Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Creationist Stupidity

Saturday, October 23rd, 2010

Though it is often difficult to decide who wins the Moron of the Year Award, this year we have a strong contender in Ken Ham at Answers in Genesis – a creationist Web site. The exact Web page in question is here.

The question asked of Mr. Ham is simple enough.  “If God created the world 6,000 years ago or so, why are stars millions of light years away?”

The answer, according to Mr. Ham: “Brendon, what a question! Yes, we know from the dates God gives us in the Bible that He did create the whole universe about 6,000 years ago. When we hear the term light-year, we need to realize it is not a measure of time but a measure of distance, telling us how far away something is. Distant stars and galaxies might be millions of light-years away, but that doesn’t mean that it took millions of years for the light to get here, it just means it is really far away!”

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the kind of answer you get from people who have never taken a class in physics, but instead base their view of reality on an anonymous book, written by a bunch of Bronze Age sheep herders.  In short, you get profound idiocy.

Mr. Ham is correct, in that a  light year is a measure of distance.  It is the measure of how far light travels in one year!  Hence the name.  So, if a star is say, 20 million lights years away, it will take 20 million years for the light from that star to reach us.

A special nod of thanks to irReligion.org for finding this gem!

Confidentially, You’re stupid

Wednesday, May 19th, 2010

I received another email today with a bold footer exclaiming the email’s confidentiality. I have to laugh every time I see one of these utterly moronic banners.

NOTICE: This email message is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure or distribution is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by reply email and destroy all copies of the original message.

Think about what this notice is claiming. Putting aside for the moment that the recipient has not signed a confidentiality agreement, you don’t even get to this notice until you’ve already read the previous material! How in the world can one be held responsible for reading the material, when the notice not to is at the bottom of the message? Furthermore, if you contact the sender, you have also reviewed the material, as the sender’s identification is not in the disclosure statement. In responding to the sender, you have proved that you broke the supposed agreement.

Such are merely minor points, however.  That you never signed a confidentiality agreement of any kind is enough to utterly render this notification legally null and void. You cannot insist that someone has entered a contract agreement simply by receiving email from you.

Imagine having a footer which stated, “NOTICE: This email is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential information. If you are not one of the intended recipients and you read this email, you owe Boneheads, Inc. $20,000,000 in contract fees and must pay this amount immediately.”

Any such ludicrous attempt at establishing a contract with a non-signing recipient would be laughed out of court and end up as a footnote on Failblog.org.

To be fair, sometimes it is not the end user, but the email server of the corporation in question which appends these notices. If you work for a company which appears to have its fair share of litigious idiots, you might email yourself to see if this is the case. If so, contact your IT department and demand to know why it is that they want you to look like a blithering idiot with every email you send.

Because that is all these confidentiality notices really say.

More Utah Mixed Nuts

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

Looks like Dell “SuperDell” Schanze isn’t the only loose religious nutcase in Utah.  Paul Drockton also appears to have fallen off the deep end of righteous insanity.

Apparently, he’s been raving on about the Illuminati in Utah for some time.  He had been mentioned to me by an acquaintance once before, but it wasn’t until I stumbled upon his recent two articles on his web site, that I learned how deep the delusion runs.

First he predicts, through a vision he personally received from God nonetheless, that there will be a massive spiritual calamity coupled with a giant earthquake in Utah.  Pedophiles running amok, rampant crime in the streets, dogs and cats living together – you know the drill.

Then he claims that Utah’s “Earthquake Awareness” week is a direct reaction to his predictions.  Certainly the fact that Utah is deep in American earthquake territory, with a major fault running through the Salt Lake valley (where 90% of Utah’s population resides) has absolutely nothing to do with it…

If you want a couple minutes of hysterical laughter, have a look.  I warn you, however, the crazy burns your mind just a little.

Holy Shit!

Saturday, November 7th, 2009

Too stupid for words!

Christian Marriage

Friday, June 5th, 2009

I was perplexed by the Christian ideal of proper marriage, but this video clears it all up.

Betty elucidates the confusing conundrum of proper prayer as well.  Holy incantations to imaginary beings were never so simple.

Left Wing Blindness

Wednesday, January 7th, 2009

I like to keep up on both left and right wing sites, to get a feel for what spin is going to come out on the next political uproar.  In the process, I get a chuckle out of the moronic deductions made from some of these sites and the partisan myopic blathering which ensues.  This time around, John Amato at Crooks and Liars gave me quite a belly laugh.


Latest Job Approval Ratings

Amato quotes a new Gallup poll, showing the latest job approval rating of the President and Congress.  The graph is simple enough to understand at a glance. Amato's take on this?  Republicans in Congress are dragging down the current approval ratings. When I read this graph, I don't see that the Democrats are coming out smelling like roses in this poll, nor that the Republicans are dragging down the overall approval rating.  I see a very simple trend – the People are pretty displeased with all of Congress and the Executive branch and disapprove of the Democrats slightly less than the Republicans.  Wining a competition of "who sucks less" is hardly anything to blow your horn about.

I understand that John Amato is a certified left wing cheerleader, who's liberal blinders are solidly welded to his head, but how anyone can look at this chart and claim, "As the Gallup poll points out for all to see: Nobody likes 'Republicans,`" is beyond being naive.  The reality of the situation is that they all suck. Whichever of the two parties you pick, whether you stand on the right or the left – it's like eating a bowl of warm vomit.  You can't bring yourself to eat it based on its own merit.  It's only when you see the steaming bowl of diarrhea next to it, that the vomit doesn't look so bad after all. For once, I'd like to see something truly appetizing on the political plate. 

Until then, I guess I'll just have to shake my head and laugh at the partisan circus.