Posts Tagged ‘stupidity’

Moron of the Year – 2009

Monday, November 16th, 2009

The end of 2009 is coming soon and we finally have the most likely contender for Moron of the Year: Principal Thomas Murray, of Danvers High School in the Boston area.

The principal in question has proven himself a true imbecile of outstanding proportions, by issuing a warning to all students in the Danvers High School and their parents, that the word, “meep”, simply will not be tolerated!

His mass spamming to every student’s home e-mail address, reads as follows:

“Please be advised that any student who has the letters ‘meep’ on their clothing or uses the words verbally will face suspension from school…the police are monitoring this situation as well.”

Apparently the sound, which has no distinct meaning in the English language, incites principal Murray to shudders over “respect and appropriate conduct in school”.  No mention is made as to whether the police will be using live rounds to quell the student body from uttering the forbidden noise.

But the race to fame as Moron of the Year may find the toughest competition from the same township. If you read this article by Christina Hager, on the WBZ Boston website, it seems that a local contender and mother of one of the high school students, Stephanie Morrissey, has forbidden her daughter to use the noise and is quoted as saying, “Whatever it means, must be pretty bad. [...] If that word is off limits, then it is not to come out of her mouth.”

Ms. Morrissey may receive extra stupidity points by the judging panel, for blindly following authoritarian demands without question, which in turn could hurt Murray’s chances for this year’s award.

Putting Faith in its Place

Monday, October 5th, 2009

This is one of the most succinct explanations of the logic fallacies inherent to faith that I've ever run across.

Bravo to QualiaSoup (aka Doug) who put this together! Be sure to check out his other fantastic videos on the QualiaSoup YouTube Channel.

Tactless Sinister Assholes (TSA)

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009

If you’ve done any reading on the bullying, abusive, malignant insanity foisted by the Transportation Security Administration (TSA), (also known as Tactless Sinister Assholes) upon hapless air passengers, then you probably have a very clear picture of just how useless this entire organization is. They represent, not real security, but a theater act. People are pulled out of line for no reason which makes any sense. Clearly stupid regulations are put into place as to what cannot be carried on a plane. Clearly stupid behavior is exhibited by the TSA slime who man the security lines. People’s right to privacy and security are being infringed by these government goons in strip searches and pat downs. Property which could not be used to down a plane or take it over, is confiscated. Last, but not least, policing power is being abused at levels which reminds one of the Gestapo of the Third Reich, where charges are pretty much invented against individuals who have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Most of the TSA morons are not qualified enough to push a broom, but give them a tin badge and they’ll take their minimal IQ and devote it to causing misery for air travelers. I long ago stopped flying, because I don’t like being treated like a criminal in my own country.

Don’t believe me? Pick your favorite Web search engine and search for "TSA sucks". Read the links and the comments on those pages which have them. The stories are profuse.

I’ve read quite a few accounts which makes my blood boil, but this one has to be one of the worst. The TSA insanity is plainly showing.

Big Brother Amazon

Saturday, July 18th, 2009

Fresh from the Forge of Grand Irony comes the recent story about disappearing E-Books from Amazon.com.   Seriously, this is rich.  It seems that those running the Amazon’s digital publishing system, Kindle, decided that certain books needed to be recalled and they simply deleted these titles from people’s accounts.  In short, it was a Digital Rights Management (DRM) fiasco, which should be criticized by every sane individual in the world.  What makes it ironic, are the titles involved.

David Pogue has a nice summation of the insanity.


Internet Explorer Sucks

Monday, June 22nd, 2009

Internet Explorer just simply sucks!

I’ve had poor results with this browser before, but my experiences over the weekend when working on a Web site I administrate, had me at first pulling my hair out with frustration and then eventually had me laughing so hard over the amazing stupidity of Microsoft and their shitty excuse for a browser – that I finally gave up on it.

I will no longer even attempt to support their shit.

Here’s the quick rundown. I was working on a site which utilizes Joomla as a content manager, meaning that the site design is handled by XHTML and Cascading Style Sheets (CSS). The task was a simple one, create a new division in the PHP index file for a Joomla user container in the header of the page, move a random image plugin from another container on the opposite side of the banner to the new division and then put a new plugin into the old container. Pretty simple layout for a header: plugin, banner, plugin. If you have any familiarity with Joomla, the most difficult part of this task is creating the new division in the PHP file and matching settings in the CSS sheet to make it display correctly – and all said, this is not a difficult task.

I created the division, assigned the new module, re-assigned the old space and examined the results in Opera. A few minute’s tweaking and everything looked great. I checked it via Opera on Windows – it looked perfect. I checked it with Firefox on both Linux and Windows and it looked perfect. I checked it with Safari on Windows and it looked perfect. I checked it with Safari on the Macintosh and it looked perfect. Konqueror has for the moment a problem with the Flash plugin on one side, but the layout was perfect.

Then I opened Internet Explorer 8 on my Windows box and couldn’t believe what I saw.

The entire banner was messed up in alignment. What appeared perfectly within its confines on all other browsers I had tried, was completely disjointed under IE8. I went to my wife’s system and tried IE7. The same mess.

So, I did what anyone else in this situation would do – I went off to Google.

The first thing I discovered, is that one of the most basic structures of CSS implimentation, the box model, is pretty much completely broken in IE. All CSS compliant browsers deal with a box element as the totality of margin, padding and width of the container as a summation. IE, on the other hand, includes the padding and margins as part of the value of the set width – meaning that the box renders incorrectly, becoming narrower and shorter than what it should be. IE has been doing this since version 3, from 1996, meaning that the brain-dead programmers at Microsoft haven’t gotten a clue over this glaring break from the standards for thirteen years now! By careful adjustment I was able to fix the issues without having to resort to a conditional clause for IE versus every other browser.

The next problem, however, I haven’t found a good fix for. In the random picture division, I wanted the image to simply center. Horizontal centering was easy enough to accomplish, but vertical centering just wasn’t going to happen. For all other browsers to work correctly, I had to add but two lines to the division:

div#picflash {
    display: table-cell;
    vertical-align: middle;
}

However, as usual, IE doesn’t recognize vertical-align and puts the picture at the top of the cell. To correct it, you can use Javascript in a conditional statement, testing for IE, or there are some other CSS tricks to handle it. The best of the tricks and one of the most common used requires making two sub-containers inside the container, and then adjusting the margins of the containers to cause vertical centering. The code would go something like this:

div#picflash {
    width: 165px;
    height: 150px;
    position: relative;
}

.wrapper {
    position: absolute;
    top: 50%;
}

.content {
    position: relative;
    top: -50%;
}

With this in the HTML/PHP file:

<div id="picflash">
    <div class="wrapper">
        <div class="content">
            <jdoc:include type="modules" name="user7" /> <!-- This is the Joomla container...) -->
        </div>
    </div>
</div>

Technically, this is crappy CSS code. Percentages in a division are ignored unless you set the height of the container explicitly. As such, CSS compliant browsers just ignore this.

However, it works in IE, because IE ignores the specification that the height must be specified for percentages to be used. In short, even if I were to put this crap into a conditional statement for IE only, in doing so I’m "fixing" the situation by specifically exploiting a bug in IE! So, instead of supporting a shitty browser with any fix for their breaking of standards, I decided to ignore the broken browser. IE users get to see the image aligned on the top of the cell.

What it comes down to is this: every time a Web designer makes exceptions, via conditional statements, CSS hacks, Java script wrangling, or any other distortion of the XHTML and CSS standards, that Web designer is allowing a compliance ignorant software to control a portion of the Web! They are giving Microsoft tacit approval of their violation of the standards everyone else attempts to comply with. By doing so, they are allowing Microsoft to dictate the structure of the Web – effectively giving them a free reign to continue to break existing standards and any new standards which come out in the proper Web community.

I will not support Microsoft in this disgusting attempt to usurp control of Web standards. Instead, I am designing what little I work with as close as I can to the proper standards (I’m no expert on CSS, but I will try my best!) and adding in the following conditional code to any Web page I design.

<!--[if IE]>
    This site is best viewed with a XHTML and CSS compliant browser.
    <br />
    Try <a href="http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/firefox/firefox.html" target="_blank">Firefox</a>,
    <a href="http://www.opera.com/browser/download/" target="_blank">Opera</a> or
    <a href="http://www.apple.com/safari/download/" target="_blank">Safari</a> today.
    Learn more <a href="http://www.lockergnome.com/news/2004/06/15/why-you-should-dump-internet-explorer/" target="_blank">here</a>.
<![endif]-->

The last line is a link to a very insightful article by Chris Pirillo at lockergnome.com, where he briefly summarizes the problem and why it is so important to drop this stinker of a browser.

If you use Internet Explorer, I urge you to switch to a browser which at least tries to follow the set standards, instead of arrogantly imposing Microsoft’s broken implementations.  There is no good reason to continue to support IE by using it.  In the process, I think you’ll find that the other major browsers out there provide a much richer experience than IE ever has or will.  There is nothing innovative in IE.  IE has never set new trends in browser design.  Why settle for half-assed software, just because it came with Windows?  Firefox, Opera and Safari are free to download for all.  Even Google is getting into the act with Chrome. Why not try them all and see which one you like the best?  (Mind you, this is a partial list out of dozens of browsers.  These are just the most commonly known.)

If you are a Web developer, stop stooping to Microsoft’s level and force them into compliance by allowing their browser to falter and fail.   Don’t make exceptions for stupidity.  Don’t make the design of your sites dependant on "the most popular browser" as you’re afraid that you’ll loose business.  If designers stopped catering to Microsoft’s stupidity, they would eventually find themselves painted into a corner and it would be Microsoft which would be forced to fix their problems to become compliant with the rest of the world.

Design Flaws

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

You have to wonder sometimes whether engineers really think things through, or whether they just play it by ear. Either through lack of foresight or intentional cheapness, it seems that some obvious features are dismissed at hand on products which otherwise are perfectly suited for what they do.

A great example of this revealed itself in a moment’s error over this last weekend. I have an American Power Conversion’s (APC) Uninterruptible Power Supply (UPS) for my three computers at home. It’s a 1500 watt beast, which is actually a little small for the three machines, plus the monitor. I decided that the Windows box did not need to be backed up by battery, as I don’t run it all the time anyway and it doesn’t do anything of value – it’s just a gaming box. So, I went about the elementary task of pulling the UPS out from the wall, unplugging the power cord from one of the battery backed AC outlets and moving it to one of the “surge protection only” outlets. In doing so, I doubled the uptime of the battery on the remaining two systems and dropped the total load from 80% down to 38%.

My engineering mishap occurred when I went to push the UPS back into place. In the process my thumb inadvertently pressed the power button on the front of the unit with about a quarter second of pressure before I realized my mistake. The UPS turned itself off without hesitation and dropped power to both of the Linux boxes. I shook my head in disbelief and powered the unit back on, wondering what drooling idiot decided that the momentary contact, master power switch should be instantaneous, rather than having a pause before dropping power. Even my $40 MP3 player is smart enough to require a three second hold on the button to actually drop power!

Stupid.

Another great example of a bad engineering decision is found in my cell phone. I have a Casio GzOne Type-V, which is capable of being dunked under a meter of water for 30 minutes, dropped on concrete, used as a soccer ball or a car jack, exposed to temperatures up to 140 F at 95% humidity and shrug it all off without the tiniest of whimpers. After quite a bit of research, I finalized my decision making after reading a user review, where his Type-V had fallen off his belt clip while riding his motorcycle at about 45 MPH down the highway. When he went to recover the phone, it had a few scratches on the metal case, but was otherwise fully functional. For a guy who spends his road time on a motorcycle and his off road time falling like Three Stooges’ clockwork into streams and swamps, it was a perfect choice. Like any Mil-Spec brick, it won’t win any fashion awards. It’s rather large and heavy – like a cellphone version of a Hum-Vee. (Personally, I like the looks, but others have expressed dismay at the design.) It feels great in hand and has very clear audio, coupled with easy to use controls and a nice charging cradle with spring loaded contacts, which doesn’t require plugging the phone into a socket. All I need is a phone that works in tough environments, not a PDA. I’ll take this beast over a pile of shattered iPhone’s any day.

So what could be wrong with this phone’s design? It doesn’t have analog roaming capability. You would think that a phone itching to be on the lanyard of outdoor enthusiasts, bikers and specialists in the Navy Seals, would support analog roaming for those times you’re off the beaten path. I can surf the Web with the damn thing, but I can’t make a call or use the GPS from outside digital coverage.

Stupid.

It’s really hard to screw up a device this simple, but I need to replace our alarm clock. It’s like most others, you set both the time and alarm with the typical “Hour” and “Minute” buttons. But the design flaw is a simple one: you need to press the “Alarm” button to set the alarm, but you don’t need to press anything else at all to set the time. Furthermore, the buttons are clustered rather close to the snooze button. More than once trying to hit snooze (or when a cat walks over the top of it) the time has been changed by minutes or hours. How about a “Time” button to hold for setting the time? Would that make any sense?

Stupid.

You can probably think of a dozen things right off the top of your head which meet the same criteria as the above – perfectly functional, until you encounter that one design flaw, that one missing, obvious feature – which makes you shake your head in disbelief that anyone would overlook it, or omit it for a few penny’s profit.

Perhaps I’m being too hard on engineers for all this: as they do have to bow to the whims of the greedy administration twits, wanting to shave pennies everywhere they look. However, some things seem so obvious that I have to shake my head, no matter who made the final call on the design.